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Politics: A "Wizard of Oz" Presidential Election

Published by: on Wednesday August 15th, 2012

A “Wizard of Oz” Presidential Election

Aren’t we all fascinated with “The Wizard of Oz?” It’s a compelling story about how a Kansas farm girl tries to find her way back home after a tornado places her in a foreign land. Imagine if this story took place today with the same set of characters. What if they witnessed the current tactics involved in the 2012 presidential election? Let’s enter a dream world for just a bit:

Dorothy wakes up in a strange place after sleeping through a wicked tornado. She looks around for her dog, Toto, who had obviously disappeared during the violent storm. She remembers the rumor going around town that the current president, Barack Obama, is an avid lover of dog meat as a dinner entrée. She freaks out! “OMG! Did he somehow get ahold of him?”

She cries out in panic, “Toto! Toto! Where are you?”

Around a bush, Toto perks his head up. She breathes a sigh of relief and suddenly begins to think of a plan to find her way back home.

She comes across a few villagers on her journey. She asks them for directions on how to get back to her residence. They instruct her to follow a yellow brick road, and that she would come to a ballot box. She was to vote for two individuals, Barack Obama (the current president) or Mitt Romney. The two were vying to give her the best way to lead her home.

During Dorothy’s trip along the yellow brick road, she encountered a couple of strangers. The first stranger was a scarecrow named Harry Reid. He was in need of a brain. He asked if he could join Dorothy on her journey. She didn’t think it was a problem, so she obliged. He warned her, “When we get to the ballot box, vote for Obama cause Romney hasn’t paid his taxes in ten years!” Dorothy responded with a dumbfounded “Huh?” Reid said “Yes, some guy told me the other day, but I forgot his name.” Dorothy then informed Reid that if Romney didn’t pay his taxes for ten years, the IRS would have brought this to our attention, especially since Romney is running for president. It was that moment that Harry Reid realized how badly he needed a brain.

Dorothy saw a group of people a few feet ahead. When she approached them, the group introduced themselves as Priority USA. They asked Dorothy to stop and watch a quick video explaining why Romney shouldn’t be president. The video shows Joe Soptic, an employee who was laid off when Romney’s private equity firm bought his company, which subsequently filed for bankruptcy. The video then explains that Joe lost his job and benefits and his wife died of cancer several years later.

Dorothy was shocked beyond the pale. “Are they trying to accuse of Romney . . . of murder?” she wondered out loud.

The group admitted that they were. “You see Dorothy, people here are lacking many things. For us, it’s a heart.”

Dorothy responded, “Well that’s obvious. See you guys later.”

Dorothy was nearing the ballot box when she encountered a familiar-looking person. As she approached the person, she realized the person was President Obama himself!

“Well this is certainly a surprise,” Dorothy remarked.

Obama shook her hand and greeted her with a wide smile. “Glad to see you. I hope that you’ll trust me to lead you for four more years.”

Dorothy inquired about the claims Mitt hadn’t paid his taxes in ten years and that he had murdered a woman.

“Well Dorothy, one mustn’t let a crisis go to waste. So we’ll let the American people decide for themselves what is factual and what isn’t.” He then went on to explain his situation in the village. “Everyone lacks something here. I lack the courage to call out Reid and Priorities USA, but that’s not my fault. I inherited it from the other guy who was here before me.”

Dorothy stood with a perplexed look on her face. Could she vote for someone who lacked courage? Could she associate herself with someone who didn’t have the brains to distinguish fact from fiction? Could she possibly stand with people who were heartless? She decided that Romney was the more stand-up guy, and the one with class and merit.

As she was pondering her thoughts, she noticed Obama’s starry glaze at Toto. “Oh no, my dog is NOT your dessert,” she thought to herself. She picked Toto up and sprinted to the ballot box to vote for Mitt Romney.